What it Means to 'Win' in the End

Overview: It was truly a privilege to speak in front of such a great group of Boone students and faculty at the school I attended not so long ago. Ten years ago this month I underwent my spinal operation… I enjoyed the opportunity to share about the lessons I’ve learned and to recognize some of the people who supported me along the way. From my journey of recovery, to being a college athlete- I am so fortunate to be able to use those experiences to help serve and learn from Special Olympics athletes today.

I don't usually prefer to write about myself but I was recently asked to speak about some of my life experiences. Because I converted my half hour speech (presented on 2/6/2019 to grades 5th-8th in Boone) to a written version, this is a fairly long post. A few changes and some additions were made that differ from the speech itself. I included the Bible verses and quotes that served as my inspiration behind the lessons I covered.

What it Means to 'Win' in the End

By Elin K. Phipps

Written on February 3, 2019

1. INTRODUCTION

There’s the saying “home is not a place, but rather the people you share it with,” ...or words along those lines. I feel there is much truth to this particular saying, not only in my own home but in my hometown. Boone is a place that has always been close to my heart. It’s not fancy, it’s not flashy, it’s not perfect… but it’s home. It’s always been home. More importantly it feels like home. No matter where I’ll live or where I’ll travel, I’ll always love coming back home. Some of the most sincere, true, down to earth individuals I know, are people who were all around me when I was growing up in Boone. People who aren’t from Boone just may not quite understand what there is to like about it. I mentioned in my speech that “in some cases, some individuals may learn to appreciate Boone later in life or after moving outside of Boone.” For me, I always knew I had quality, life long friends in Boone. But what I didn’t realize was that in some ways, it’s a rarity to be surrounded by so many genuine people all in one place... and also the fact that I didn’t have to look very far or hard to find those people.

In more recent years I have realized how often life comes in full circles. Full circle moments are defined as “a long series of events or changes that somehow return to where you started.” Sometimes for me that circle can end up, oddly enough, with some sort of Boone connection. As my aunt from the big city of Chicago said, “That’s just simply the beauty of growing up in small town Iowa.” I’ve occasionally met people in my professional life who somehow have ties to Boone. Recently, I experienced a “full circle moment” when I was given an opportunity by a close friend... To return to the school I attended to present as an annual Boone alumni speaker. That day I saw several former teachers/faculty members, former classmates, and familiar faces of students. Thinking about what I was going to say to motivate a large group of 5th-8th grade students wasn't easy- I wasn’t a celebrity, a professional athlete, a motivational speaker, or someone with significant achievements. But it was a privilege to be given a few moments of the day to share my two cents of life lessons I’ve learned thus far. While I wrote my thirty minute speech, I thought of examples from my life to use to go along with the following themes written below. My hope was that rather than remembering the stories from my life, the students would take one of the lessons I touched on and reflect into their own lives.

2. INVOLVEMENT MATTERS

Being an involved individual was encouraged by my mom at an early age. She always reiterated the importance of being involved in something, anything. And more importantly, being a well-rounded person. My mom saw the value in learning about different activities outside of daily required routines and the lessons that sports/music can teach a child. I was always up for signing up for something. Anything my brother did, I had to do. Self imposed spirited competition always came about for Erik, my brother who’s only a year older, and myself.

Like many other kids, I participated in several activities throughout the year: Youth soccer, junior golf, skiing lessons in Colorado, gymnastics, softball, tennis, swim team, cross country, track, cheerleading, choir, show choir, band, marching band drumline, piano lessons, student council, church groups. In high school I continued cramming in as many of my favorite things as possible- Tennis, swim team, cheerleading, choir, show choir, band (oboe), marching band drumline, full orchestra, student council, church groups, and life guarded/taught swimming. Later on I also joined track and cross country. I credit my family for providing me with these opportunities.

Students have heard it from teachers and parents before, “get involved in something.” It wasn’t until after I was finished with school sponsored activities that I understood the full value of being involved. To this day, even if I haven’t continued on with some those activities I have learned something from every single one of my experiences. I’ve spent time with diverse groups of people whom I respect. I am able to acknowledge how hard it is to, for example- learn an instrument or wake up for 6am swim practice.

3. CHALLENGES IN LIFE ARE NOT STOP SIGNS

"Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

~Romans 5:3-5

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is way, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak then I am strong.”

~2 Corinthians 12:9-10

It was important to me to communicate in my speech the fact of realizing everyone has challenges, stop signs rather, that come about in life. Challenges look slightly different for everyone. They come in various forms and at different points in life. It might be challenges with peers at school, issues at home, a divorce in the family, absence of a parent, death of a family member or friend, a health problem, mental/emotional struggles, problems with school, moving away, etc. When I was fairly young and in the middle of being involved in 101 different activities, I had a large stop sign planted right in front of me- The diagnosis of my scoliosis at age 11 and scoliosis surgery at age 14. I’ve written and spoken about my spine surgery/recovery numerous times for various projects- to the point where I need to start thinking of other examples to write about. But it was truly such a defining point in my life that reflects the way I live still today.

Diagnosis:

Scoliosis- abnormal curvature of the spine. It can effect vital organs such as the lungs and the heart. It’s often genetic- several members of my family have been diagnosed or suffer from it. Perhaps some student(s) in the audience the day of my speech had scoliosis or knew someone that did. Mild cases in particular are fairly common. My scoliosis started out as mild and progressed with time. I spent a few years traveling back and forth to University of Iowa Hospitals for doctors appointments. Right away I noticed these appointments were different than a regular doctor's appointment. For one, they took forever. The hospital was much different than anything I’d seen before. The patients in the hospital seemed different. Often times I noticed the kids who were there for an appointment, just like I was, looked different, acted different, and had a lot of different health problems. But more times than not they seemed just as happy as any other “normal” person. Seeing people who were worse off than me in the hospital and still made the best of their circumstances made it very easy for me to not sit around and feel sorry for myself.

Surgery:

Although mild cases are fairly common, what is not as common is having a more moderate case- which requires years of wearing a brace, or a severe cases that potentially requires surgery. I spent three years in a back brace, a failed attempt to keep my curvature from severely worsening. My spine was measured at a 75 degree severe curve at its worst and required surgery. It was ten years ago this February, I underwent my spinal operation. The five hour surgery, insertion of 2 rods and 15 screws and hooks, hip bone removal, an 18 inch scar, cutting all the nerves down my back, and spinal fusion helped my spine reduce its curvature. Throughout the time of my one week post surgery recovery in the hospital I recognized that things were going to be more difficult than before. When I woke up my back was numb. My body lost over a half a gallon of blood. I couldn’t turn my head, sit up, get out of bed, stand, walk, and didn’t get to eat or drink for six days. During that time I had to re-learn the simple things like walking and standing. I couldn’t do anything by myself. While I remained absent from school, I continued re-learning the simple things for a six month period of recovery.

Recovery:

For the next couple years, it seemed like everything that I decided to get back into had some sort of limitation because of my back. It took me years to regain at least some feeling in my back. Still to this day I still have some lost feeling. You really never realize how much you use your back….. until you can’t use it at all. It seemed as so there was a constant yellow light, red light, or dead end. As much as I tried to remain positive most of the time, it sometimes felt lonely too. Feeling as if no one could understand. But I knew I couldn’t let limitations keep me from doing what I wanted to do. I wasn’t looking to be some sort of “success story” but simply wanted to go back to doing what I always did before. I had to make a choice: 1) Make my challenge a stop sign and spend high school laying on the couch after school, OR 2) Persevere through my challenges and turn it into an opportunity to grow.

4. GREAT CHALLENGES CREATE GREAT OPPORTUNITIES

From one of my favorite speeches- Back in 1962 President Kennedy gave an inspirational speech at Rice University about the national space race and the effort to land a man on the moon. In a famous line he said, “We choose to go to the moon.” He continued to say we choose to do these things “not because they are easy but because they are hard.” He explained to the United State how great challenges can create great opportunities.

As I spent a good couple of years recovering from my surgery, I was able to watch my older brother set and reach some of his goals- qualifying for state swimming, state baseball, earning seats in all-state for trumpet. And I was proud of him. He was always good at setting goals and sticking to them. His mind was wired differently than mine and I always had so much to learn from him. But the same self imposed spirited competition we had as kids still remained. There just came a point after my surgery where I really couldn’t keep up anymore. As a kid I had a much different vision of what my high school experience would be like in comparison to how it was in reality.

When I was 16 years old I decided to set a post surgery goal of my own. Before my surgery when I was 14 years old I competed in the Chicago Triathlon (swim, bike, run), just for fun. I decided I wanted to do that same triathlon, but post surgery this time. Racing in the same triathlon gave me an opportunity to prove to myself that I could finish the race- that I could do something I did before my operation. In the fall of 2010 I completed the race, and it gave me the boost of confidence I was looking for in life.

When I returned to school that week, a classmate approached me in the hallway and asked about my triathlon. He was a talented distance runner and came from a family of gifted runners. It really took me by surprise when he asked me, considering very few people even knew I was doing the race. He brought up a conversation about joining running and it happened to spark my interest.

Over the next couple months I thought more about going out for running. Hesitation ran through my mind beings that I simply couldn’t move as easily as I did before. Twisting, turning, and using my arms was more challenging in swimming and tennis. After much consideration, I decided that trying something new might be beneficial. That spring I joined the track team as a junior. At first, I really had no idea what I was doing... But little by little I got better and better each meet. I learned to love running. There was something different about it.

By the end of the season I ended up qualifying for state track in the individual 800m run. Making state is a goal that many high school athletes set for themselves. But qualifying had a different meaning to me… It was the first time that my spine operation did not hold me back. I found out that it was possible to be successful in life after my back surgery.

At the conclusion of my junior track season and school year I learned that the next year Boone would be moving up from 3A to 4A in track. This meant that the qualifying standards were going to be set higher, the competition was going to be set higher, and I had to set my own standards higher. During that time I also decided that running high school cross country and running in college was something I wanted to pursue since my high school athletic experience got put on hold.

5. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT YOU & YOUR GOALS

“Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.”

~Proverbs 19:20

One thing I learned as a postoperative scoliosis surgery patient- What was more uncommon than having a severe case of scoliosis? Answer: Being a postoperative scoliosis surgery patient but also planning on being an athlete with ambitions and goals. These two things just didn’t quite mix. I had to go out and find answers on how to be a successful athlete despite having rods, screws, and limitations. These answers weren’t handed to me or included in the “scoliosis surgery manual.” The way I chose to find the answers was by finding the right people to seek for advice or support. Surrounding one's self with those of similar values, goals, and visions can only encourage positive change and inspiration. It was essential to surround myself with people who could help me with the up and coming change of high school divisioning for track AND pursuing running in college.

I started by looking at other talented runners and evaluated what they were doing to be successful. I wanted to find out... What were they doing to better themselves that I also could be doing to get better? The first person I sought was the same classmate who first approached me about the idea of running track. I remember him acknowledging the great opportunity we had in front of us to race against better runners in class 4A. And this was true, he was right. He was able to point me in the right direction to people who could help me train and advised me himself from time to time.

The second aspect I focused on was finding people who could help me with the added restrictions of my back. I worked with a few different doctors and physical therapist throughout the years who were all advantageous towards reaching my goals in running and in life. My physician, a former college runner himself, established stable support for me as a person and as an athlete. One physical therapist who I originally reached out to for simple running advice, ended up treating me as a patient through college. As a Boone alumni, former college runner, and professional marathoner, she served as an influential source of inspiration during my days as a runner.

Another obvious branch of support can come from family. I ran my first outdoor meet the same day as my grandpa’s funeral my junior year. Even though he wasn’t able to see me run, my other family members watched me and saw what running meant to me. They drove anywhere to watch my meets and were there for me throughout my training. My brother was always looking at stats online. He taught me the value of evaluating times and places prior to races throughout the season. My mom would ride her bike next to me or follow me in the car on my late night runs. My family was my biggest support system, and I couldn’t have been more fortunate.

Through the support and advice of others, I was able to achieve my goal. At the end of my senior track season I ran the individual 800m at state one more time and was on my way to continuing my running journey in college.

6. LEVELING UP TO THE NEXT LEVEL

“The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.”

~Habakkuk 3:19

In the same way I looked to people for advice and support in high school, was the same way I approached my decision of choosing a college. I wasn’t a five star recruit athlete, but rather someone who was looking to reach one’s own potential. When deciding on a college and a coach, I was looking for someone who could support me physically- in training and my conditions with my spine; mentally- an aspect of running that is often vital but forgotten; and spiritually- the most important key to success for me personally. That is a lot to ask of in one person and I truly didn’t know the answer on how to find that right person.

About a year ago when I was going through my drawer of old papers, I found a tiny scrap of paper with my coaches name and contact information scribbled on it. It made me reminisce back to the time when he handed that scrap of paper to me and talked to me about running in college. I thought about how little I knew about what I needed in a coach and how little I actually understood about running. But what I did know was that I needed to rely on others outside of myself and my talents to reach my potential. Running in college would take much more from me- I needed to level up to the expectations. My coach and his family were exactly the right people I needed in my life to support me in the process of "leveling up." People are placed in our life for a reason- to help us through out our life’s journeys.

Often times I thought about, Why is it that we rely on so many different people in sports? Why is it that people are so quick to credit other people (like their family and coaches) when they win a big race or award? Or why is it that people are generally more open about their faith when it comes to athletics? I came to a conclusion within my own sport and own experiences- it’s because running is simply really hard. It’s not always fun. It tests the human body and mind beyond its usual limits. It requires sacrifices that aren’t always pleasant. The faster the running the more the body fatigues and weakens. But it is for his power is made perfect in weakness. The Lord is able to prevail through those who cannot rely on oneself for strength. We are forced to rely on something more than ourselves.

Every college distance runner is typically given a full calendar year of training and competition. Cross country in the fall, indoor track in the winter, outdoor track in the spring, and training in the summer. As I recall the sacrifices that are required of every college runner, I remember feeling like it turning into a way of life- Running in the freezing cold, in the blazing heat, by myself, on vacation, on weekends, during holidays. I remember my mom following me with the car headlights so I could see where I ran at 11pm at night after work. I ran with frostbite hands and literally fell on my face on the ice. But perhaps the biggest sacrifice for me personally included the 33 vertebrae in my spine surrounded by 2 rods and 15 screws. It was a feat in itself to be able to even run day after day at the college level and to simply manage the pains that come with it.

7. DEFINE YOURSELF BY WHO YOU ARE, NOT BY WHAT YOU DO

“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

~1 Samuel 16:7

Four years of college running: 1,460 days. That is 1,460 days of training, competing, and preparing to be the best runner possible for yourself and for your team. The sacrifices and days of work put in makes it all worth while when you see results...and I began to see results with in my own running. It felt good to set personal records. It felt good to win. It felt good to have your name in headlines. When you reach your goals it motivates you to raise the standards higher for yourself. I continued to set goals that required more of myself- To the point where I began to define myself by what I did on the track, what goals I met, what records I broke, what races I won, what medals I received. I was truly grateful for the goals I accomplished but some goals were left untouched. And those untouched goals impacted me equally as much.

Four years of college running: It was also 1,460 days of back pain from college running. As much as I never wanted to feel sorry for myself or have other people feel pity for me...the affects of my back pain were fairly obvious. One thing I learned about having pain that came along with being a postoperative scoliosis surgery patient and college runner- It begins to take a toll. It’s exhausting on the mind and body. It’s frustrating and annoying. It can consume every move. Circumstances of various kinds made it difficult to reach my goals during the last year of my college running. I believed the only way to truly complete my journey of recovery and being an athlete was by achieving the biggest and best goals. I began to define those untouched goals as failures and it wasn’t easy to except failures.

8. OVERCOMING ADVERSITY & THE JOURNEY ALONG THE WAY, MEANS MORE IN THE END

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

~James 1:2-4

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

~Proverbs 16:9

There comes a time in every college athlete’s journey where the clock runs out. When the 'time is up' you have to learn to be proud of the goals you met and except the ones you fell short on. I always found myself coming close to a record, to a first place in a big race, to a medal, to nationals, but came up short. In an article it stated, “Phipps was 0.15 seconds off of the school record in the indoor 800m run.” Another article posted with my photo and the headline reading: “Dutch fail to gain national berth” stated, “Phipps was 0.8 seconds off of qualifying for the national meet, but came up short in the individual 800m.” By the end of my running career I ended up not first, but second or third best in the All Time School Records in four individual events. I had finished second or third in the conference six times. These weren't boasting points, these were short comings. To be that close to tasting first but never actually reaching it….it’s not the most satisfying feeling in the world. But I had to learn to embrace and own being second best. I had to make the most of it. I had to find what truly was important.

Some things in life just don’t end up as planned. And that’s okay. Sometimes in life, you are forced to take a step back and look at what really matters at the end of the day. Or in my case, at the end of my time as a runner. One thing a friend told me once was, “What someone accomplishes in running matters. But very few people in the real world are going to care to ask you what your best time was or how many trophies you won.” At the end of the day, does it really matter that your picture is on a wall or your name is on a record board? It does matter. But what matters more? At the end of the day people are going to remember someone for their integrity, honesty, humbleness, perseverance, leadership, and ability to be a “teammate.” After all, you can have all the talent in the world but if you don’t show character, how does your talent have any significance?

Finding out what really mattered took me back to the beginning... Remembering why I began running in the first place and reflecting back on my journey along the way always kept things in perspective. There was a point where I was learning how to stand up and walk in the hospital. I spent weeks learning how to get out of bed on my own. It was necessary to remember where I started. I reflected on the doctors, coaches, friends, and my family who so generously supported me. I thought about the other kids I saw in the hospital who would never be able to run or even live a normal healthy life. And how lucky was I to be given the gift to simply run? It’s a perspective so few will ever fully understand. The journey of overcoming adversity and the gift to run meant more to me than any record, medal, or win ever could.

9. WHERE MUCH IS GIVEN,

MUCH IS EXPECTED TO GIVE BACK

“…..And everyone to whom much has been given, much will be required…..”

a portion of ~Luke 12:48

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms.”

~1 Peter 4:10

We're called to give back to others. We're not only called to give, but we're called to give with a cheerful heart and without expecting praise. Gifts and talents shouldn't just be used to receive recognition or awards for one's self. We're asked to also use our gifts and talents to serve others. Giving to others can come in many different forms. There's no right or wrong way to do it when it is done with a cheerful, humble, genuine heart.

When I have been given so much in my life- I can't be anything but grateful. After I was done running in college, I had the opportunity to give back to others at Special Olympics Iowa- By using what I learned from my experiences as a runner and as a patient. At Special Olympics Iowa I am able to use my love of sports and also able to watch children and adults with intellectual disabilities learn to love life through sports too. Through “giving back” to the Special Olympics athletes, in return they gave me the answer to what it really means to be a winner in life. The Special Olympics Iowa athletes reminded me of some of the people I saw at the hospital back when I was a patient. They are individuals who are facing adversities of many kinds, but some of the most happy and grateful people I've seen. They aren’t searching for sympathy or praise but rather to be the best version of themselves. Their diagnosed disabilities are turned into great opportunities to show their abilities and the spirit of the human heart. They are able to overcome their challenges through sport. These athletes give much of what they have within them and exhibit bravery. They defy the odds. I am so fortunate to witness their courage and perseverance first hand and learn from them day to day.

Tim Shriver, the CEO of Special Olympics International, wrote in his memoir about the real meaning of winning within Special Olympics. "Who won that race? To this day no one remembers who was given the gold medal for the race. But everyone knows that on that track, the two athletes that crossed the line offered a new vision of what it means to win." He continued to write about the very first Special Olympics competition fifty years ago... "On July 20, 1968 for the first time in history, people with intellectual disabilities were celebrated as great individuals by discovering their gifts and the joy of sports. The idea of Olympic triumph, of winning, of bravery, of being gifted… None of these qualities had ever been confirmed in these human beings. But on that first day, there was something in their persistence, something in their emotional tenderness, in their uninhibited openness to others that burst to life and awakened those who could see to a different way of defining of what it means to win. They won from within. For those who had eyes to see it was an awakening." I would encourage anyone to find the true meaning of what it means to 'win from within' in their life.

10. THIS IS ALL WHAT WINNING MEANS TO ME IN THE END.

Thanks for reading.